Woman of a certain age
For the past few years, maybe even longer, I have been hiding in the bathroom. There is something about hiding in the bathroom that has saved me. Nourished me, helped me through times of stress, allowed me to play and pontificate about some inspired observations I, for some reason, felt the need to share. Look, even if you don't listen, even if you don't press the "like button" or whatever (but seriously, why didn't you like it!), it really doesn't matter. I needed to express and document it to remember one day.
It's like when we were living on the boat. I wanted to capture some of the crazy moments we had along the way, especially during the rough patches - like our 6-day crossing from the Bahamas to Puerto Rico. I remember holding on to the railing for dear life, carefully attempting to go down the stairs to the bathroom while gazing at the floor and avoiding looking outside the window at the high seas and rockingly horizon at all cost. When I finally made it to the bathroom, I crawled to the toilet, hosted myself upon it, and held onto the towel rack in front of me, hoping it would ground me, I guess.
I had my phone in my pocket and decided to press the record button for some reason. I was literally going to the bathroom (just pee relax) and had the inspiration to archive this moment. To speak to you all as I was sitting on the toilet, scared shitless. That action comforted me to no end. Made me feel less alone, which, in the end, is what we are all seeking in this world. Feel understood, connect with others, help each other, lift each other up in times of stress, laugh, love, and, well, feel less alone. For me, apparently, this need to connect, be heard, and be understood has brewed in me since birth.
If I am honest, I have been dealing with being heard all my life. The issue of no one hears me, no one understands me, blah blah blah blah. It's why I wanted to be an actor in my youth. You know, to be center stage and heard heard - under those lights. Anyway, I thought I was over that issue - until I had children. Until my children started to grow up. And started too, ya know, remind me that I really really do not like not being heard because NO ONE seems to ever listen to me when I tell them over and over and over again to do this that and the other thing.
But, when locked in the bathroom, hidden away from the world outside, I am heard - if only to myself!. This bizarre form of social media communication has encouraged and inspired me in more ways than I can really comprehend. We are all separate, behind the mask of a screen, yet we are all connected on some intimate level. We have the power (fortunately and unfortunately) to share whatever we choose. We are the stars of our own movies. Whether anyone watches them or not.
So buckle up. Welcome to my bathroom and another spontaneous short film shot on my iPhone. A slice of life. Inspired by being a Woman of a Certain Age.
